First questions online dating
She played along and pushed right back and they’ve already got a first date lined up. “He was so lively and engaging that I sort of had no choice but to come back with something equally witty and creative.” “So by him writing something playful and interesting to you, he actually brought out a more playful and interesting side of you? Wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you took the time to write something interesting and creative back to these guys, you might discover that they actually have a personality?I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges. I mean, from the majority of your emails, you sound really boring, too.As explained in great detail in this article, most emails sound like they could have been pre-written by anyone in the world. If you sound like you’re presuming you’ll get an email back, you’re much more likely to get an email back. You’re not here to find out if a person will sleep with you or marry you in a first email. I think we have a lot in common – particularly our mutual love of rum punch.
This probably sounds incredibly nitpicky, but it’s not. I’ve got two techniques for writing first emails that I describe in Finding the One Online.
The trick to successfully vetting a prospect on a first date, while simultaneously keeping the energy light and fun, is knowing what questions to ask and how to ask them. What are their likes and dislikes, what do you have in common, what does he or she do in their spare time?
For example, work, his or her family, hobbies, pop culture, and favorite music are all surefire bets. If you’re savvy, you’ll realize that certain questions–even the most basic ones—have the ability to tell a lot about a person.
If you’re going to write the same exact email as every single person on the dating site, you can’t be surprised when you get deleted quickly like junkmail. One is called Fun Fiction, in which you make up something silly based on a detail in the other person’s profile. You may think that this stuff doesn’t matter – that people only write back to the most attractive people no matter what.
So if everything you’ve been doing in your emails is ineffective – if everything that comes naturally to you is too dull – what ARE you to do? The other is called Opinion Openers, where, instead of stating a “me, too” fact (You like Bruce Springsteen? ), you offer your opinion – in which your personality shines through (Hey, if The Boss is from New Jersey, how come he sounds more like Woody Guthrie than Tony Soprano when he sings? So while I will acknowledge that being hot and stupid is more effective than being ugly and fascinating, the truth lies somewhere in between.